


it's the god that heroin prays to

by legendofshera



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24441082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendofshera/pseuds/legendofshera
Summary: The Rebellion is still recovering from losing Entrapta to the Horde, and Adora struggles to live up to the princesses' expectations for She-Ra, and her own expectations for herself. Meanwhile, the Horde also experiences a loss, as the swamp prince, Shrek, deserts and joins their enemy.-She slams Catra against the wall, pinning her with a forearm to her throat.Catra's pupils dilate, as she inhales sharply. "A-Adora-kun…"She-ra freezes, the look on Catra's face igniting something in her she'd rather ignore, but can't. She realizes her mistake—getting distracted—when the girl's lips slowly curl up. Catra pushes her away easily, but a green fist connects with her face before she can think to gloat."I don't like tag teaming bitches, but for you I'll make a shrekception." Shrek smirks.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> dank

Adora watches Queen Angella march into the strategy room, and cocks her head in confusion when she notices the smile on her face. They have been in a tight spot since losing Entrapta, and the Horde just took control of another village.

  
"Princesses, Bow, I have some grand news." Angela starts. "We have just gained a powerful ally, and the tide might turn in our favour!"

  
"Who is it?" Glimmer asks.

  
  
"The swamp prince, Shrek."

  
  
"What?! You can't trust him, he's a Horde soldier!" Adora shouts. "Ugh, Catra..."

  
  
"No. He was brainwoshed by Shadow Weavah into joining them, but he wos a par' of the first Princess Rebellion."

  
  
"I heard about him," Bow says. "Not a team player."

  
  
Angella smirks. "He's a loose cannon who plays by his own rules, but goddammit does he get results."

  
  
"Does he get results?"

  
  
"Yès."

  
  
"Furreal, though, where he at?" Frosta inquires.

  
  
The door opens abruptly and a smell makes its way into the room, accompagnied by a tall ogre, or the other way around.

  
  
"Hey, I'm Shrek. Let's get this war ogre with."

  
  
Adora sees Perfuma swoon at the ogre's confidence and rolls her eyes.

  
  
"Do you remember me, Shrek-sama?" She asks.

  
  
"Of course I do. You were our best recruit."

  
  
Adora narrows her eyes at him but changes the subject. "So, for our next attack, we need a plan they can't figure out. A plan with layers."

  
  
"I've been briefed so I can help with that," Shrek affirms. "Plans are like onions, they have layers. Like ogres. Ogres have layers."

  
  
"He's good." Mermista whispers.

  
  
"I am here and so is Spinnerella." Netossa says.

  
  
"So, you have a plan?" Adora asks, a little miffed. She's usually the one with the plan.

  
  
"I do. A full-proof, layered plan to take back Durdiblur from the Horde."

  
  
Adora lowers her gaze at the mention of the Horde. "Catra..."

  
  


* * *

  
Catra knocks on Hordak's sanctum door, trying to hide her nerves. After Shrek had deserted while working under her, Hordak had personally blamed her, and gave her one week to prove her worth to him, otherwise he'd send her to Beast Island.

  
  
Yesterday, she found the perfect asset.

  
  
"Come in."

  
  
Catra does, followed closely by her new recruit.

  
  
"Lord Hordak, this is Double Trouble."

  
  
They start advancing towards the wary robot-man slowly, then change their appearance to mirror him completely.

  
  
"A shapeshifter..."

  
  
"At your service," Dolbe Trobll said, then turns back into themselves.

  
  
"Good find, Catra."

  
  
"I'm taking them with me to guard Durdiblur. The princesses will try something, I know it."

  
  
"Good. This is good."

  
  
Catra turns to leave before Hordak can scream _get. out._ and grabs Dob Tob with her.

  
  
"What a weird little man," Doge comments on their way out.

  
  


* * *

  
  
The plan is simple; Shrek and the best friend squad sneak into Durdiblur to secure the citizens, then Glimmer teleports back outside to give Mermista, Frosta and Perfuma the green light to attack. Netossa and Spinnerella are also here.

  
  
Glimmer already got them inside the gate. As they sneak past the faceless horde dogs, Adora hears a _psst_ sound directed their way.

  
  
Glimmer hears it too and teleports them all to the source of the sound.

  
  
"Are you the Rebellion?" A man attached to a mustache asks.

  
  
"Yes. We're here to help. What are you doing here?"

  
  
"I found a way to escape earlier and I wanted to free my people little by little, but I can't get past those guards."

  
  
"Your people? Are you the ruler of this land?"

  
  
"Yes. I am Mardi-bur of Durdiblur, son of Cardi-bur. I am the mayor."

  
  
"Huh?" Adora scratches her nose. "What's a mayor?"

  
  
"You wouldn't know; we're a democracy."

  
  
"Here is the new plan," Shrek starts. "Adora, you're taking out those guards."

  
  
"Okay."

  
  
"Glimmer and Bow, you stick to gathering the citizens."

  
  
"Okay!" They say in unison.

  
  
"Mardi-bur, show me how you planned to escape."

  
  
"Okurr."

  
  


* * *

  
  
An hour later, all twenty two citizens of Durdiblur had been let out without Adora even turning into She-ra. Glimmer teleports back out, and signals for the other princesses to initiate part two of the plan, now that they can attack without risk of collateral damage.

  
  
"Hey, Adora."

Fuck.

  
"Catra..."

"You didn't think we'd just let you take back Durdiblur, did you, dumbass?"

  
  
Adora growls before lifting her sword up high.

"Grant me the power to—um, FOR THE HONOR OF GRAYSKULL!"

  
  
Catra waits politely for Adora to finish her transformation, watching her grow two feet taller.

  
  
Adora tilts her head back gracefully, conjuring a tiara on her now longer hair. She twirls her sword a few times, and when the last notes of Transformation by Sunna Wehrmeijer play, She-ra stands in her place. There's a distant sound of screaming girls.

  
  
"HYAAAAAH!" She-ra roars like a warrior, as she runs towards her childhood friend.

  
  
She-ra swings her sword a few times, but Catra avoids her swiftly. Then she knocks it back with the kick of her foot somehow. Adora still isn't sure how to powerscale She-ra.

  
  
She slams Catra against the wall, pinning her with a forearm to her throat.

Catra's pupils dilate, as she inhales sharply. "A-Adora-kun…"

She-ra freezes, the look on Catra's face igniting something in her she'd rather ignore, but can't. She realizes her mistake—getting distracted—when the girl's lips slowly curl up. Catra pushes her away easily, but a green fist connects with her face before she can think to gloat.

  
  
"I don't like tag teaming bitches, but for you I'll make a shrekception." Shrek smirks.

Catra is astounded by his stealth. She didn't even hear him coming.

  
  
"I didn't even hear him coming!" Catra shouts in disbelief.

  
  
"He's good." Mermista whispers.

  
  
"Shrek, you saved me!"

  
  
Catra suddenly starts laughing – no, cackling and transforms into a lizard person.

  
  
"Ewwww," Adora says.

  
  
"Hey, Adora," comes a voice behind her. She turns around, and there stands the real Catra.

"Catra…"

Before Catra can join Troblodoble's for their joint slay to defeat the Rebellion, she's hit by a _horde_ of tulips, and falls to the floor.

"No, not plants!"

Doubolrtble is also hit but by ice coming from Frosta, and Mermista gives the finishing blow when she waterbends into the whole army from the sky, using water wings, because there is water. There has always been water, it didn't just appear.

"Justice rains from above!" Pharah exclaims.

"Guys, we did it!" Netossa shouts and high-fives Spinnerella.

An hour later, after the rest of the Horde retreated, Glimmer plants the Brightmoon flag. They have officially taken back Durdiblur.

"How can we ever thank you?" Mardi-bur asks.

"Can I get a water?" Adora asks.

"No."

"Okay."

Later that day, back at Brightmoon, Adora sneaks out of her room to be alone. They took back an entire village of twenty two people, today. This was huge. She should be celebrating, but her mind won't let her.

They almost lost when she had gotten distracted by Troubadour impersonating Catra, and they all felt Entrapta's absence.

"You okay, kiddo?"

Adora turns around and sees Shrek, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed and one foot propped up. He looks very cool, she thinks.

"Still thinking about that Horde?"

"Catra…"

He's throwing an onion up and down in his hand so Adora thinks she can trust him with her thoughts.

"It's just that I lost a lot of friends when I changed sides. My whole child soldier promotion, my cr—um, my best friend, Catra. Catra... And now, Entrapta, too. I'm failing the Rebellion."

Shrek chuckles sympathetically. "Maybe the real Rebellion were the friends we made along the way."

"What."

"Goodnight."

Shrek takes a bite of his onion, and leaves Adora with a lot to think about.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on popular demand (2 private bookmarks) I am back with another chapter of she-rek

Adora wakes up the next day with a clearer head, and decides to enjoy her day off from war.

She puts on a comfy sweater, pulls her hair into a messy bun and exits her room.

"One of us is gonna have to change," y/n says as she passes by.

She walks by Glimmer's room and finds that it is empty. Confused, she continues until she reaches the strategy room and finds the princess talking with Queen Angella and Shrek-sama.

"What's going on?" Adora asks. "I thought we had the day off from war."

"We need to go to the Crimson Waste." Glimmer says, earning a gasp from Adora.

"The ghetto????"

"Yes," Shrek takes over. "We believe there might be some powerful First Ones tech buried somewhere in that location."

"And we need to get it before the Horde does."

"Rough, innit?" Angela smiles sympathetically. "I'm sorry, luv. I know you were looking forward to today."

"We were talking about who we'd be bringing besides Bow. I was thinking Netossa and Spinnerella might have the best control over their powers in the desert." Glimmer says.

"Who?"

"I said I was thinking Perfuma might have the best control over her powers in the desert since there are plants there, exactly one kind, to be precise which happens to be the one I've never seen in her kingdom."

"Good thinking. We should go now, before the sun sets."

"It is morning."

"Yes."

* * *

As Shrek, Glimmer, Bow, Adora and Perfuma made their way towards the Crimson Waste, the heat started wearing them down.

Adora thought this was a good time to interrogate Shrek, as he would be too tired to think of ways to avoid her questions.

"So, Shrek-sama, have you ever come here before?"

Shrek looks down, and smiles melancholically.

"I don't remember much from my old life before the Horde brainwashed me."

"That's not what I-"

"I remember that I had a wife, and kids. And a best friend who was also a donkey and also another best friend who was a cat." He chuckles. "I guess we have that in common, huh?"

"Okay but-"

"And that's it. I can't remember anything else," Shrek says somberly. "Not their names, not what they look like. When I went back to the swamp, it was empty, a reminder for what I lost and a metaphor for the emptiness in my heart. Now, I'm a rebel again, back to my former self, though only on the surface. And I fear that happiness and I are two incompatible entities which, just like the twelve moons and the sun, will never meet."

"That's crazy," Adora says.

They keep walking in silence this time, because Adora is very uncomfortable and she notices that Perfuma seems stressed out, but before she can ask her what's wrong, Bow speaks up.

"Look! It's a hang out type place!" He points to a hang out type place a little further ahead of them. "Let's go there for some reason."

"Good thinking."

They go to the hang out type place and Shrek immediately notices a familiar set of pink guns.

"Huntara?!" He calls out.

The woman recognizes Shrek and initially tries to use her huge guns and jacked body to throw them out, but after they explain that they are not with the Horde, she agrees to help them look for the tech.

She's leading them somewhere south and Perfuma looks even more stressed out at the sight of cacti.

"You know," Shrek starts. "When Shadow Weaver told me you had died all those years ago, I thought she was joking. I didn't think anything or anyone could kill ya."

"Really?" Huntara asks, flexing her face muscles. "Shadow Weaver, cracking jokes?"

"Then I saw her face." Shrek says. "And I knew you'd escaped."

Huntara smiles, and lifts a five hundred ton mountain, creating a shortcut to get them to some secret place which is a ship.

"This is a ship." She says.

Adora looks around, looking for something that might stand out but before she can find it, the door or gate or whatever of the ship opens abruptly.

"Hey, Adora."

"Catra..."

She decides not to waste any second and transforms immediately. Thirty seconds later, she stood as She-ra. A distant sound of girls screaming is heard.

She-ra rips out the headbord of the ship and throws it at Catra who dodges so she punches the floor creating waves meant to destabilize her but Catra pounces on She-ra before they get to her.

Catra slaps her with the back of her hand and the slap propels She-ra three feet into the air. When she falls eventually, her body barrels across the floor.

Shrek and the others try to intervene but the rest of the Horde army comes and they have to retreat.

* * *

"I'm sorry guys," Adora says.

"It's okay, Adora-kohai-san," Huntara says as she crushes a rock with her bare hands to eat the powder.

"You got owned by Catra and your attack was an epic fail," Shrek starts. "Plus they now have their hands on an ancien First Ones ship that will give them an undeniable advantage on the field after Entrapta gets her hands on it, **but at least you tried**."

"We're in this together." Bow smiles.

"Thanks guys. And thank you, Huntara-kun-senpai, for being our guide."

They eat their gravel in a comfortable silence around a cozy fire.

"In a way, things worked out for you, Perfuma," Shrek says. "I know you were stressed out about controlling cacti."

"Yes. It felt like a major plot point, to be honest."

"I really thought your inability to control cactuses would be the element to doom this mission." Glimmer jokes.

"It's almost as if it was completely forgotten about until right now."

They all laugh.

* * *

Adora wakes up in the middle of the night when she feels a presence watching over her. When she opens her eyes, Shadow Weaver is just, hovering there next to her bed.

"What do you want?!" Adora screams as she pulls out the knife from under her pillow.

"To help you, Adora. I have information about the Horde you'll find interesting."

"No thank you," Adora says, as she pulls out the assault rifle from under her pillow.

"Planet's a weapon."

"😱😱😱😲😲😲"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next on she-rek: adora says "catra..." some more and maybe melog ho knows


	3. this is real this is me i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you will all like this chapter as it means a lot to me. It took me two years to write it, and i was at my lowest point, but i think it's my best one yet. I've never put so much passion into my words before

"I can't believe the ship fits into Entrapta's lab!" Scorpia exclaimed.

It was pretty amazing, Catra noted. Physics often seem to be meaningless in a world full of magic but to have the twenty meters tall, fifty meters large First Ones ship fit into the ten meters square lab was still a little shocking.

Entrapta tweaked a little something on the headboard that Adora had ripped out. Suddenly, a goglogram of a pretty girl appeared.

"It's Mara. If you're receiving this message, it means that I failed," the hogloram said sadly. "They used… the First Ones… ding dong…" the speech kept cutting off, each time replaced by buffering. "Long… tia tamera… the planet will… pink wig, thick a—...Horde P—…whiplash…"

When the holegram disappears, silence settles in the room.

"What did she mean by that?" Entrapta asks.

"Didn't you listen?" Catra says. "The planet has a weapon at its center, the Heart of Etheria. Created by the First Ones in order to fight an army and survive, at the cost of entire civilizations. The army is lead by Horde Prime, and Hordak is just one dysfunctional clone of his."

As they started discussing strategies, none of them noticed Shadow Weaver silently eavesdropping.

* * *

"And that's how I found out," Shadow Weaver explains.

"Wow, so Mara didn't actually mess up. I'm shocked. Who would have thought." Adora says, shocked. "Okay, stay here for a while."

Adora left Shadow Weaver in her room, unsupervised because her IQ has one digit, and walked through the hallway to find Glimmer in her room.

Glimmer startled a bit at the knock on her door. "Come in," she says, rolling her eyes. She was hoping to watch a movie while she still could, and she was very excited to watch Gone Girl. Gone Girl is a psychological thriller directed by David Fincher, written by Gillian Flynn based on her novel of the same title. It stars Ben Affleck in the role of Nick Dunne and Rosamund Pike as his wife, Amy Dunne. Set in Missouri, the story begins as a mystery that follows the events surrounding Nick, who becomes the prime suspect in the sudden disappearance of his wife. The film was a critical and commercial success, grossing nearly 370 million dollars on a budget of 61 million dollars, becoming Fincher's highest-grossing film at the box office. It premiered on opening night of the 52nd New York Film Festival receiving high-profile press coverage and early positive reviews. It saw a nationwide release in North America in 3,014 theatres on October 3, 2014. Coinciding with the North America release, Fincher's Gone Girl released at 5,270 screens in 39 international markets like the United Kingdom and Germany, on its opening weekend.

"Glimmer, you'll never guess what Shadow Weaver just told me!" Adora exclaims.

"Omg, what is it?" Bow asks because he's also here.

"Hold on to your wigs because the tea is about to snatch them. This intelligence I have gathered is a thick queen—"

She told them about Etheria ten minutes later, when they finally freed her from the locker, then they all started talking strategy, up until the morning.

* * *

Adora informed Shrek of Shadow Weaver's presence, and he had her placed in a holding cell; the spare bedroom he was using, which means he will now be Adora's roommate. He was excited at the prospect of engaging in pillow fights with his new friend, but kept a neutral face.

"Shrek-sama, what do we do? This is so much bigger than I thought!" Adora whined like a little girl. Oooh, my planet's a weapon, what am I gonna do.

"First, we're going to visit a friend of mind…" he said ominously.

"Shrek-kun," Angella said. "You don't mean…"

"Yes. We're going to visit Kim Brian."

"He's good." Mermista whispered.

"Who the **fuck** is Kim Brian?🤔 " Frosta pondered out loud. Glimmer gasped. Bow wept. Mermista held back Perfuma who was trying to jump out the window.

"He's one of my oldest friends… and a fortune teller. His predictions have never been wrong." Shrek smirked.

"We're here too," Spinnerella and Netossa said.

* * *

Shrek had decided to bring everyone on the mission, except for Angella who had to rule the Kingdom – he like to call it a Queendom though because he considers himself a feminist – and Sea Hawk because they don't need his boat and Swift Wind because he's fucking annoying and a commie.

They found themselves in front of Kim Brian's house and knocked. When he opened the door, Shrek leapt into the man's arms. They hugged each other for what seemed like forever to everyone else, seemingly lost into their own little world.

"Guys, this is my friend, Kim Brian." Shrek repeated. Adora found it weird that he had two names.

"Oh, I know why you're here…" he said. "You want to know about the weapon inside Etheria."

They all nodded, impressed, and certain that he was the real deal.

He sat them down at a table and joined them soon after, bringing them all a cup of tea to pass around.

"It's called the Heart of Etheria, and it's been siphoning the magic of the planet for centuries. To be activated, all of the princesses need to be connected to their runestone, but since Princess Scorpia isn't, the weapon remains dormant."

Adora took a small sip of the cup and passed it to Shrek who bit into it. "And in your visions, do you see Scorpia connecting to her runestone in the future?"

"Yes, but the future can still be altered." He answered.

A small knock on the door brought them out of the moment. Bow went to answer it.

"Oh hey, Catra-chan," he said, before gasping.

"It's a trap!" Ackbar cries out.

Adora leapt to her feet. "For the honor of grayskull!" She screamed. Cue screaming girls track.

"Hey, kitten." Kim Brian said, before turning green.

"Ewwwwwww," Adora said. "You're not Cumbrain, you're that lizard person!"

"Double Trouble," they introduced themselves. "I hope you enjoyed my performance."

"How did you know we were coming here?!" Shrek asked.

"We guessed."

"Where is Kim Brian?" He roared.

"...Beats me." Catra said, before instructing her army to attack.

A huge fight erupts. The Horde brought robots and shit. But the princesses held up their own, with cool ice powers, powerful waterbending, teleporting combined with precise archery, plants rebelling against the very source of nature's problems and also someone threw fishnets and some girl was like spinning around without getting sick which was super impressive.

The Horde also had balloons this time, and kept dropping bombs which the rebels had to dodge.

"It's a trap!" Ackbar cries out.

Shrek fought Trourblrdldtb, and won. He came to the princesses' aid, smashing robot after robot. At some point, Frosta passed out, because she was just a kid and her powers are still too much for her. It freaked everyone out, and while Perfuma got the girl out of the battlefield, Mermista got angry.

She drew the water from Frosta's ice and tripped every horde soldier with it. Bow, who had been teleported to a balloon by Glimmer, dropped bombs on the robots and destroyed them.

"Justice rains from above!" Pharah exclaims.

The Horde retreated.

"We did it, Spinny!" Netossa said as she made out with her hot wife.

"Wait, guys… where's Adora?" Glimmer asked.

Shrek gasped. He brought his hand in front of his mouth to stop a sob from escaping, but everyone could see the tears welling up in his ogre eyes. He won't be getting into pillow fights with Adora any time soon, and the pain was tearing him apart. _Adora-chan..._

* * *

Catra laced her fingers together and laughed maniacally.

"Catra! Let me go!" Adora cried out as she was tied to a pole. "Please! Ca-Catchan…"

"Don't call me that," the neko tsundere growled. "I'm not gonna let you get in the way of my victory."

"No one wins if the weapon is activated! Don't you get it?! We'll all die!"

"That's your opinion. Anyway, I lied earlier… I know where Cumbrain is… after all, he is the one that told me how to beat you. Among other things like, King Micah being alive on Beast Island and weird stuff about a magical alien cat or whatever."

"Mmmheyyyy guys what are you talking about? 😉😉😉😉😉😉😉" Lonnie said as she walked in.

"Ugh, nothing." Catra blushed when Adora raised a brow. "Baka…"

"Okay suuuurrrrrrre 😉😉😉😉😉😉" Lonnie said. "Anyway, Scorpia wants to know when she can link up to her runestone or if she should even do it at all."

"I'll talk to her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i get an F in the comments


End file.
